One More Time
By now his outdoor orbits of the house
approach the frequency of comets passing.
Yet when I ask what he's been up to since
he says he's been out in the fields walking.
And at once I know where he means. He says
he goes to keep his mind from wandering.
My mind is wandering; roving like an unhappy ghost around old fears and unhappinesses. Sleeplessness, sudden doubts, this grey grey rain that just will not stop and the news that I dread but can't switch off. The sweat prickle awareness that each day is one less. The remorseless orbit of thoughts.
In the same way I've forgotten the feeling of sun on skin I've forgotten the simple pleasure of sleeping and living without the stone in the stomach. I know it will pass and pass quickly. The sun will come out, I'll sleep and will wake and forget this as I forget that time is passing. Until next time.
While I wait for the orbit to slow, I'll practice the piano. Buy some new herbal tea and stop for cake on the way home. Go to the yoga class tonight that I don't want to go to just because I don't want to go anywhere. Put on my boots and my hat and get out. Fare foreward.